


100% Up-To-Date Contact Lists

by Syenya



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Sex, ableist slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8168647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syenya/pseuds/Syenya
Summary: Do Kyungsoo wasn't the type to ever jump out of their skin or in general be scared by anything, so he merely let out a masculine yell and dashed a few steps up the corridor.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [Imported from LiveJournal](http://syenyayenyen.livejournal.com/10922.html)
> 
>  
> 
> This is one of my favourite fics that I've written. Please be nice to it~ m(TT_TT)m
> 
> Also I have like 20 different headcanons for Sehun but Dispassionate Hipster!Sehun is one of my FAAVOURITIITEESSS~~~ so there u go

 

 

 

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][06:02]

Did u know baekhyun doesn’t wear underwear

 

It was not exactly what Kyungsoo had expected to read first thing on a Monday morning. He blinked at his phone a couple of times, wondering if he was still asleep, despite the fact that he had woken up fifteen minutes ago and was currently seated on the edge of his bed with his jeans on. He scratched his face absently, shook his hand through his hair to flatten the sleep from it, and pursed his lips.

 

From: Me  
[Today][6:04]

Who is this

 

He shook his head in irritation as he tossed his phone aside and finished dressing, buttoning up his shirt, pulling his jumper over his head and padding into the kitchen to grab the breakfast he had made the previous night. He would eat it at school in order to catch the early bus and avoid the crowd of his schoolmates, who were either obscenely chirpy for 8 o’clock in the morning or loud snorers who caught up their last minutes of precious sleep in transit. He shrugged on his jacket and bag, stepped into his shoes and checked his phone before slipping it into his pocket.

No reply from the mysterious stranger who seemed to have intimate knowledge of Byun Baekhyun’s, well, intimates.

Kyungsoo snorted softly to himself as he locked the door behind him and stepped into the building’s icy stairwell.

*

The students’ lounge was empty when Kyungsoo entered at 6:45, two take-away coffees in hand, except for one other student splayed over a couch with his bag strap hanging off his limp fingers. His lips were parted in sleep, one leg propped on the armrest and the other falling over the edge of the cushion. Had it been anyone else, Kyungsoo probably would have rolled his eyes and woken them up before they could drool all over the already cheap and dodgy upholstery — but instead he placed one of the coffees on the low table by the sleeping boy’s head and shuffled over to the microwave to heat up his breakfast.

The timer was halfway through its countdown when the other student suddenly sat bolt upright, slinging himself over the back of the couch. “I smell breakfast.”

That was the point at which Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “Good morning to you too.”

His unapologetic grin was marred by a loud yawn and he rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know how you do this every morning when you don’t have to.”

Kyungsoo shrugged. “Well, you technically don’t have to either. If you weren’t such a stingy little shit that needs me to bring you breakfast, you could have a whole extra hour of sleep and still make it to class on time.”

“A stingy little shit that you _adore_.”

Kyungsoo wouldn’t go so far as to say he _adored_ him. Not out loud, anyway. He scoffed and pulled the noodles out of the microwave, bringing them over to the couch. “Move over.”

“I am moved over.”

“Move over more.”

“But then I can’t use you as a pillow.”

“That’s the point. I’m not a pillow and you have morning breath.”

With a pout, the other moved to his own half of the couch and accepted the disposable chopsticks Kyungsoo handed to him.

“I’ll eat it well!” he sang blithely, diving in.

Kyungsoo watched him dispassionately for a moment before turning to his own share.

Kim Jongin, an irritatingly attractive first-year dance major, was not somebody that Kyungsoo would ever openly admit to doting on wholeheartedly. Not that he would admit that about anyone — but with Jongin he had to deal with the inconvenience of the fact being true, which regularly made Kyungsoo want to flick him in the face.

“Ow! What!?” Jongin whined, hand coming up to pat his cheek.

Kyungsoo just frowned.

Jongin grinned. “Your expressions of love are so weird.”

Kyungsoo’s frown deepened. “Do you know whose number is 010-5358-9385?”

Jongin stared at him for a moment before sucking up the noodle that had been hanging out of his mouth. “You know I don’t have all my contacts memorized, right?”

“Can you look it up?” Kyungsoo insisted impatiently.

Jongin sighed loudly, making a huge deal of digging his phone out of the depths of his bag. Kyungsoo watched him, unmoved by his display. “What was the number again?”

Kyungsoo pulled out his own phone to double-check the number and read it out to Jongin.

“Nobody I know,” Jongin announced, tossing the phone back into his bag with relish. “Why do you ask?”

“I got a weird text.”

“Is it a dick pic?” Jongin questioned immediately.

Kyungsoo side-eyed him, returning to his breakfast. “No.”

“Boobs?”

“No.”

Jongin’s face started to fall. “Any form of sexting at all?”

“No.”

“Aw, that’s no fun.” Jongin wolfed down the last scraps of food, bringing the container to his mouth, and stretched his arms out above his head.

“Your hair is a mess,” Kyungsoo commented without looking up, and Jongin’s eyes flew wide as he dived for the cap resting next to his bag. He put it on his head, adjusting the angle from feel.

“Better?”

Kyungsoo sighed and waved his hand. “Come here,” he ordered, reaching up to fix Jongin’s bangs beneath the peak.

“Well isn’t that revoltingly romantic,” a third voice commented from the door as a gust of freezing winter morning air blew into the room.

“Jesus fuck, shut the door, you ice monster!” Jongin yelled, scooting out of the path of the entrance.

Sehun let the door fall shut of its own accord as he moved to the kitchenette to make himself tea. “Good morning, Kyungsoo.”

“Good morning,” Kyungsoo responded stiffly, trying to push Jongin off.

Sehun turned and leaned against the edge of the counter as he waited for the old kettle to boil. Sehun always moved as though a camera could catch him at any minute. His eyes fluttered as he pulled off his scarf, revealing a dipping neckline underneath his expensive-looking woollen coat.

Jongin watched the display in disgust. “Did your mother buy you that or what.”

“Joonmyun, actually,” Sehun smiled serenely, cocking his hip while he poured boiling water into his mug. “Tao picked it out. It’s nice, isn’t it?” he ran his free hand down the edge of the jacket.

Jongin put on a faintly sick expression. “It might be if A, you hadn’t reminded me how whipped those two are for you and B, you weren’t so horrendously gross.”

Sehun heaved a deep, long-suffering sigh and placed himself carefully in the seat on the other side of the table. “Ordinarily, Jongin, I would walk away; but unfortunately I have made a promise and so can’t simply leave you here to wallow in your own incompetence.”

After placing his cup on the table, he reached into his brown leather messenger bag and drew out a clear folder of neatly-typed pages. “We may as well get started or you won’t have time to type it up before you hand it in.”

Jongin beamed. “Have I mentioned that I love you, shitdick?”

“I am a necessity to you for the sake of your education.”

Kyungsoo eyed the papers on the table. “Is that the assignment you told me you finished two days ago?”

Jongin’s smile was somehow both sheepish and unapologetic. “Nah.”

“He’s lying.”

“I know he’s lying.”

Jongin pouted. “Guys,” he whined, “Please.”

Sehun shifted his shoulders and cracked his neck. “Come on, Jongin, focus. The sooner I talk you through this the sooner I can be out of here.” he peered up at Kyungsoo. “Are you just going to watch us judgmentally? Don’t you have two million lines of Homer to translate from Greek into English, or something equally inane and torturous?”

“The Iliad only has 15,693 lines,” Kyungsoo sniffed.

*

Of course, it just had to be _that_ day that Kyungsoo had all his lectures with Baekhyun. Mysterious texter must have planned it that way. Baekhyun generally sat either a couple of seats or a couple of rows away from Kyungsoo in all of the classes they had together and, with the English classroom set out in a circle, Baekhyun’s arm brushed the back of Kyungsoo’s chair as he squished past with his equally chattery friends. One of them was Park Chanyeol, whom Kyungsoo side-eyed almost notoriously at every occasion — Kyungsoo distrusted everyone over 178cm on principle (Jongin and Sehun were no exception). The other was Kim Jongdae, whom Kyungsoo regarded with a kind of detached respect, mostly due to the other student’s ability to insult people to their face without them noticing.

Today, due to what Kyungsoo could only suspect was divine intervention — more like _petulant interference on the part of the gods_ , Kyungsoo amended grumpily in his head — the sleepy-eyed friend of Sehun’s and Yifan’s who conveniently occupied the seat between Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had decided to not show up to class that morning. He was probably still in bed, Kyungsoo decided, sending angry telepathic messages to the older boy to _wake the fuck up_. He determinedly did _not_ glance at the waistband of Baekhyun’s jeans riding down over his hips.

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][07:58]

English 1107, tute room 5, am i right? How’s that goin for u. haVE YOU MADE EYE CONTACT WITH THE BOOTY

 

 

From: Me  
[Today][07:58]

No. Seriously who the fuck are you

 

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][07:58]

Aw come on soo that’s no fun

 

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][07:59]

Now stop texting me and appreciate baek’s butt trust me on this

 

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes and glanced around the classroom, but nobody he could see seemed to be on their phone. His head whipped around as Baekhyun let out a scandalized shriek about something Jongdae had said — there was a loud clatter as he knocked his entire pencil case off the desk, the contents scattering everywhere, and he pushed his chair back amidst whines of _look what you made me do, Jongdae, you ass, I hate you, everything is your fault_ and bent over to pick them up—

Well _shit._

He really _didn’t_.

Kyungsoo gulped and hurriedly turned back to his desk as the lecturer walked in and shot the still-babbling Baekhyun a long-suffering glare.

*

“So are you guys fucking yet?” Luhan demanded in lieu of greeting as he approached his friends in the students’ lounge, who were quietly studying (Kyungsoo and Minseok), not-so-quietly studying (a softly sobbing Jongin), blogging (Tao) and resting (Sehun).

Sehun cracked one eye open. “Whom are you referring to?”

Luhan scoffed. “Says the only boy with his face in another boy’s lap.”

“My head is in his lap, not my face.”

Tao didn’t look up from his phone as he offered his own comment. “As we’ve told you before, we have no intention of ever fucking.”

“Yeah, it’d practically be incest.”

“Besides, someone else already has their eye on our Sehun.”

Jongin’s head snapped up from the ‘ _in the 1700s_ ’ that was so far the entirety of his essay. “What!?”

Tao and Sehun simultaneously turned their heads to stare at him, blinked, and went back to what they had been doing.

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][13:48]

Man, Baek was dropping stuff ALL MORNING. He probably felt ur eyes ;) were u paying attention?

 

 

From: Me  
[Today][13:48]

You’re such a creep

 

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][06:02]

Nah. (^^)v

“Okay seriously,” Kyungsoo suddenly blurted out, louder than he usually ever was, and everyone’s heads snapped around to look at him. “One of you has to know whose number this is. And how the crap he got mine.”

“Read it out, I can’t move,” Tao said with relish, bringing his arms up to rest on the back of the couch. Sehun signed peace from his position on the Chinese boy’s lap.

“010-5358-9385,” Kyungsoo sighed, pleased to see that at least Minseok and Luhan were checking their phones.

“No clue,” Minseok informed him apologetically, while Luhan shrugged. “Me neither.”

“Isn’t that—,” Tao began, then abruptly broke off. “Never mind,” he finished in a slightly hoarse voice.

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes. “Who is it, Tao?”

“Nobody I know. I was wrong. Sorry.”

Luhan also narrowed his eyes. “If you two are not fucking, why are you pinching his leg now, Sehun.”

“I’m not pinching his leg,” Sehun denied in an offended voice, holding up his hands.

Kyungsoo was suspicious. “Sehun, do you know whose number this is?”

“Hey, does anyone know how to spell ‘gigue’?”

“Study time was a lot more productive when it was just us two, Kyungsoo.”

“How about ‘fugue’? I am open to estimations right now.”

“Jongin would you _shut up and go get a dictionary_.”

“Well _why can’t you just look it up on your phone for me Sehun, god you’re so fucking rude sometimes,_ ”

“What I really want to know is who is crushing on Sehun and are they as good a ship as SeTao? Because I doubt it.”

Minseok blinked twice and started shoving his notebooks back into his bag. “I’m going to the library.”

He glanced expectantly at Kyungsoo for a moment, but the junior student was too busy glaring at his phone.

*  


From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][22:39]

Hey did u know baek has specific underwear for each day of the week? I know his schedule lemme tell it to u

 

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][22:42]

Monday: nothing. Tuesday: commando. Wednesday: jocksless cock. Thursday: free willy. Friday: fresh air down there. Saturday: boxers…… and nothing else. Sunday: usually nothing, but he’s open to suggestion. Lace is on the table rn. If yr into that of course.

 

 

From: Me  
[Today][22:45]

On the top of the list of Things I Didn’t Need To Know

 

 

From: Me:  
[Today][22:46]

Why are you even doing this

 

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][22:47]

Hey man I’m just trying to help a bro out

 

 

From: Me  
[Today][22:47]

I’m not your “““bro”””

 

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][06:02]

Who said anything about you?

  
*

Kyungsoo didn’t know anyone from his French Literature class beyond being acquaintances, so he wasn’t expecting the hand that fell heavily on his shoulder as he left the room. He probably would have shrieked and jumped out of his skin, if Do Kyungsoo was the type to ever jump out of their skin or in general be scared by anything, but he wasn’t, so he merely let out a masculine yell and dashed a few steps up the corridor. He turned back and saw Baekhyun looking faintly alarmed at the sudden lack of Kyungsoo under his palm.

“What?” Kyungsoo demanded — _not_ disgruntled, because that would require him to have been startled in the first place — and smoothed his sweater down.

Baekhyun cleared his throat and stepped closer. “Kyungsoo, _why_ have you been giving me death glares all morning?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes slid down to where Baekhyun’s balls were sitting very definitively unbound in his jeans. “Your buddy is the most horrendous wingman I have ever come across.”

“My buddy?”

“Your buddy who’s been incorrigibly texting me the past week about your penis.”

Baekhyun screwed his eyes shut and blinked them open a few times. “My _what_ who’s been _what-ing_ you about my _what_!?”

Kyungsoo began to get the feeling he had made a slight mistake. “Excuse me,” he coughed, and sprinted.

He wasn’t _fleeing_ , per se, he just needed to get to the noodle bar for lunch before the queue became too long.

*

“Hey, Baek, you’re quiet today,” Jongdae commented casually, raising his eyebrows at his friend across the table. “Did something happen?”

“Sort of,” Baekhyun replied vaguely, pouting to himself. “I’m not quite sure what, though.”

There was a moment’s pause.

“On a slightly related note, though, did any of you guys send my dick pics to Kyungsoo?”

Yixing spat out his soup over Yifan’s hand. Yifan shrieked and fell gracelessly off the bench. Joonmyun turned an interesting shade of magenta, Jongdae raised an eyebrow and Chanyeol lowered his.

“How did you find out Kyungsoo has _your_ dick pics?” Jongdae questioned calmly. “For that matter, why do you think any of us actually kept them? And, if I may address the year-old elephant in the room, _why did you send them to us in the first place_?”

“Well I don’t know for sure that he has them,” Baekhyun said slowly, happily ignoring Jongdae’s last two questions, “But he did say that one of my friends had been harassing him about my penis?”

There was another, longer pause.

Chanyeol cleared his throat. “I’m not saying I did anything — because I _didn’t_ — but haven’t you been going on for _months_ now that you would give your left eye to bone Kyungsoo?”

Joonmyun seemed to be slipping slowly under the table.

Yifan settled himself grumpily back on the bench. “Wouldn’t a better question be ‘has he ever shut up about boning Kyungsoo since June’? Because the answer to that is simply _no_.”

Jongdae frowned. “Whereas the answer to Chanyeol’s question is simply yes? I’m not seeing how your question is better.”

“Well I’m not seeing how your face is better.”

The other five turned to stare at Yifan in confusion.

“Than a piece of gum stuck to a bus seat,” Yifan clarified, and Jongdae raised a scandalized hand to his mouth.

“I may never recover from that emotional scar. But back to Baek,” he turned to Baekhyun, “Chanyeol’s right. Why don’t you just take this opportunity to go bone Kyungsoo?”

Baekhyun’s pout deepened. “What if he doesn’t want to bone me back, though?”

Chanyeol scoffed. “Baek, please. He’s been glaring at your butt for like a week now. He wants to bone you.”

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Joonmyun announced hoarsely, swiftly collecting his rubbish.

“See you later, grandpa,” Jongdae called after him cheerily as Joonmyun scurried away, ears burning.

*

“Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable, though?” Kyungsoo muttered to himself, reading over the Mysterious Texter’s messages.

Jongin, who had finally caught up on the situation, glanced over from where he was sitting on the end of Kyungsoo’s bed. “You say that about my socks too, though. Different people are into different things, Soo.”

Kyungsoo deadpanned at him. “Could you go the school term with your junk rubbing against your jeans, though?”

Jongin tapped his lip. “Maybe he has an insensitive dick. That may be a problem.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

“You should find out.”

Kyungsoo frowned.

Jongin sighed. “Look, Soo. I know you’re interested in him. Firstly, you wouldn’t be paying so much attention to this issue if you weren’t, and secondly, I know what you’re thinking even if you don’t say anything. And I know Baekhyun’s interested in you because he wouldn’t have been upset that you were glaring if he didn’t care what you thought of him. Also, whether or not he’s aware of what his friend’s saying to you, that friend is obviously fairly confident in his belief that this is ultimately what Baekhyun wants, and he’s trying to hook you guys up. He’s trying pretty hard, too. Don’t tell me all this hasn’t occurred to you.”

Kyungsoo sighed and put his phone aside. It _had_ occurred to him, but he had chosen to dismiss the thoughts as theory — until Jongin had just confirmed everything.

“How would that go, though? Hi Baekhyun. I’d like to fuck you. I have my suspicions that you would also like to fuck me. What do you say?”

Jongin shrugged. “Why not?”

“That’s how you and Luhan do things, Jongin, not me!”

“Yeah, but your way of doing things is stupid.”

“Why do I even associate with you.”

Jongin fluttered his lashes. “The same reason you keep staring at Baekhyun’s ass: because you _loooove—_ ow! Don’t be violent!”

“I do not love you. Nor Baekhyun’s ass.”

Jongin snorted. “Please.”

*

Baekhyun, unlike Kyungsoo, had no problem with shrieking loudly and jumping out of his skin when Kyungsoo’s death grip enclosed his wrist after class.

“Jesus _fuck_ Kyungsoo, you scared me,” he gasped, free hand coming to his heart. “What is it?”

“Coffee.”

Baekhyun blinked. “You don’t talk much, do you.”

“Do you want to or not.”

Baekhyun smiled prettily. “Yeah, I do. Where?”

“Anywhere except the place Minseok and Jongdae work.”

Baekhyun laughed. “Sounds good to me.”

*

They walked toward one of the campus cafés, a virtuous space between them that definitively was _not_ full of sexual tension. Baekhyun managed to talk the entire way, although Kyungsoo wasn’t listening to much of what he was saying. Not that Baekhyun seemed to notice, or care, perfectly content to babble on without requiring replies or acknowledgment.

Kyungsoo found himself wondering if Baekhyun talked like this in bed, or if he just moaned a lot. The possibility briefly crossed his mind that Baekhyun could be a quiet sex partner, but he quickly dismissed the thought. As if. He wondered if Baekhyun had had sex with boys before.

They reached the café and Baekhyun beamed, shaking Kyungsoo’s sleeve. “I’ll take a mocha, two sugars with whipped cream on top,” he chirped, and quickly skipped off to find a table. Kyungsoo was left staring after him in shock, which manifested on his face no differently from his generic deadpan expression, but he shrugged and went to stand in the queue. He had after all been the one to initiate this flirting thing, so he may as well fork over five bucks for a coffee.

“A big one!” Baekhyun yelled across the store, causing several patrons and employees to stare at him. “And don’t forget the cream!”

Okay, six dollars.

Kyungsoo cringed as he got to the front of the line. “I’ll have a small long black, and also a large mocha, two sugars, with whipped—”

“With whipped cream, I got it,” the student quipped with a glance at Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes and decided he didn’t like the boy very much. He made a point to notice the tips jar and jingle the spare change in his wallet before walking away. Baekhyun smiled cheerfully at him as he sat down, back straight, hands clasped on the table in front of him.

“What do you order?”

“Coffee.”

“Black?”

“Yeah.”

“Sugar?”

“No.”

“Big?”

“Small.”

Baekhyun nodded as though confirming the answer in his mind. “Man, you’re boring.”

Kyungsoo shrugged.

They paused for a moment while the server came with their coffee. He spilled Kyungsoo’s all over the saucer and swiftly returned to the counter. Kyungsoo was pretty sure it wasn’t an accident.

“Rude,” Baekhyun commented, though his grin betrayed how entertained he was. He picked up his spoon and dug into the whipped cream, eating it straight. Kyungsoo wrinkled his nose. “But I can’t have people forgetting my order. I get very upset if I don’t get my sugar fix.” He rested his chin in his hands, spoon hanging out of his mouth. It fell to the table with a clatter as he spoke next. “Anyway, back to where we were. If your coffee order is so boring, you gotta be interesting in other aspects, right?”

Kyungsoo blinked.

“I mean I’m interesting across the board,” Baekhyun stated matter-of-factly as he scooped three quarters of the cream into his mouth and stirred the rest into the drink, “But you have a plain coffee order and plain fashion sense and don’t talk that much so obviously you’re one of those people who has to compensate. By being interesting in other things.”

He cocked his head expectantly.

“Are you talking about sex?”

“Completely.”

Kyungsoo grabbed a handful of serviettes from the dispenser on the table, sat his cup on one of them and used the others to mop up the spill on the saucer. “Let’s not come here next time.”

“Ooh, there’s gonna be a next time.” Baekhyun gasped, then pouted. “Come on, though, don’t avoid the question. Tell me some of your kinks.”

Kyungsoo’s hand jittered and his spoon went flying across the table, hitting Baekhyun on the elbow. “My _what_?”

“Ow,” Baekhyun said insincerely, tossing the spoon back. Kyungsoo caught it and made to take a sip of his drink. “Your kinks. Isn’t that the point of this little venture? To scope out our sexual compatibility?”

Kyungsoo choked.

Baekhyun looked disappointed. “Am I wrong?”

Kyungsoo hesitated, then took a fuller sip. “Nah.”

Baekhyun’s grin was like the sun. “Excellent. So what do you like? Romantic? Bondage? Roleplay? Crossdressing? Public?”

“You’re very blunt, aren’t you.”

“Says the guy who asked me out with one word.”

Kyungsoo supposed he did.

“It depends what I feel like at the time,” he shrugged.

“Is that Kyungsoo-speak for ‘all of the above’?”

Kyungsoo couldn’t suppress his smile. “Maybe.”

Baekhyun laughed. “I guess you can be hedging and blunt at the same time. I like that. Maybe you are interesting after all.”

Kyungsoo felt a twinge of offense. “Of course I’m interesting!”

“Hmm.” Baekhyun tapped his lip. “Aren’t I supposed to be the judge of that?”

Kyungsoo fumed silently.

“Aw, I made you angry.” He didn’t look very remorseful at all. “Well, how about we try this out. We fuck first, then see how things go from there?”

Kyungsoo paused. There was no way this could be so easy. This had to be some kind of joke. On somebody’s part. But he guessed there was no harm in saying yes. “Yeah, alright.”

Baekhyun checked his phone. “For now, though, I have a lecture in 20 minutes, and I’d like to think we can experiment for a bit longer than that. Shall we make another date? How about Friday evening? I’ll go to your place.”

Kyungsoo downed the rest of his coffee in one go. “Yeah, alright.”

“Excellent.” Baekhyun scooped up some of his mocha in his spoon and flicked it straight into Kyungsoo’s face. Kyungsoo flailed wildly, scraping the liquid off with his sleeves. Baekhyun sighed. “Tsk. You don’t even scream at that.”

“I bet you scream,” Kyungsoo muttered, half to himself, without thinking.

Baekhyun’s eyes darkened. “Oh, not for everyone.”

There was a tense moment of silence.

“Challenge fucking accepted.”

Baekhyun smirked.

*

Friday evening rolled around and Kyungsoo stared at the food he had prepared, covered in foil. He frowned slightly. Baekhyun was supposed to be there ten minutes ago. If he didn’t show up soon he’d start eating by himself. ‘Nothing too rich’, Baekhyun had said, ‘can’t try you out properly if we’re too full to move’. Kyungsoo hadn’t found himself too averse to the idea of being ‘tried out’. His phone buzzed and he snatched it up, half-expecting a ‘sorry almost there!!’ text before he realized he hadn’t given Baekhyun his number.

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][19:12]

;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

 

Kyungsoo was sorely tempted to throw his phone across the room. But he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Baekhyun had his hair pushed out of his face, signature eyeliner smudged into smoky eye; he was wearing a plain white button-up, acid wash jeans and Nikes that had some serious insoles judging by the way Kyungsoo’s eyes met with Baekhyun’s chin instead of the bridge of his nose.

“You’re late.”

“You have a stick up your butt.”

A pause.

“Are you going to invite me in or.”

Kyungsoo stepped aside and gestured exaggeratedly for his guest to enter. Baekhyun did so graciously, toeing his shoes off and shrinking a few inches. “Right, what do you have planned for my belly?”

Kyungsoo huffed. “Probably something that’s gone all cold and dry and you won’t be able to appreciate my cooking skill at all.”

Baekhyun stared at him for a moment, his face half-twisting into something that almost looked shocked, but then he smiled gently. “Maybe that was my plan, did you think of that? Make you self-conscious about the food so you perform extra well later.”

Kyungsoo flushed angrily and punched his arm.

“Ow!”

“You’re an ass.”

Baekhyun grinned and slung his arms over Kyungsoo’s shoulders, pressing his chest up against Kyungsoo’s back. “Really though, I’m sorry I’m late. I took a call. I didn’t realize you went to so much trouble.” He pecked the back of his neck gently. “Anyway! It’s only getting colder! Let’s get started.” He pulled away and helped himself to a chair, eagerly lifting the foil on one of the dishes.

Kyungsoo rubbed his neck and cautiously sat down in the other chair.

*

Baekhyun ate a lot of food. Kyungsoo finally laid down his utensils and folded his hands in his lap, just staring as Baekhyun shovelled food ceaselessly into his mouth.

“Everything,” he mumbled, “On this table is the greatest thing I have ever tasted.”

“I thought you weren’t going to eat very much,” Kyungsoo stated, unable to keep a note of awe from his voice.

“Well whose fault is that?” Baekhyun sniffed, “I asked you for something light, not the world’s finest cuisine.” He put down his chopsticks and took a gulp of water. “You’re right, though, I should stop.” He grinned. “That was amazing.”

Kyungsoo still felt strangely light. “I had… I mean… there is dessert but it… like… maybe… I don’t know… we should… do you get hungry after sex?”

Baekhyun laughed. “Yeah, I do. Good plan.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo stood up and started clearing dishes, carting them to the kitchen. Baekhyun followed with the plates that they hadn’t quite emptied and Kyungsoo handed him a roll of cling wrap. They were strangely silent while Baekhyun covered the food, the air only full of the clink of Kyungsoo dropping plates into the washer.

“You’re quiet,” Baekhyun observed, turning around from where he had loaded the leftovers into the fridge.

Kyungsoo slowly finished his task, rinsed his hands and turned around. “Did you really think the food was that good?”

Baekhyun crossed his arms and leaned against the counter beside the fridge. “Of course.”

Kyungsoo crossed the kitchen and kissed him.

Baekhyun unfolded his arms and braced himself against the benchtop while Kyungsoo cradled his face with damp hands. It was a gentle kiss, careful, curious, not exactly what Baekhyun had in mind when he thought about kissing Kyungsoo tonight. But it could definitely go places. And it was quite nice for a first kiss, he thought. He brought his arms around to slide his hands into Kyungsoo’s back pockets.

Kyungsoo made a noise.

Baekhyun snickered against his lips, pulling him closer. One of Kyungsoo’s hands slid down to his neck, thumb resting under his jaw, and the other moved back to grip at his hair.

Yes. Yes Baekhyun liked that.

He planted a foot between Kyungsoo’s and pushed away from the counter. Kyungsoo stumbled back slightly, breaking away with a slight gasp.

Baekhyun smiled lazily, appreciating the way Kyungsoo’s full lips flushed.

“Hup,” he said by way of warning, before planting his hands on Kyungsoo’s shoulders and jumping. Kyungsoo stumbled again but caught him, wrapping Baekhyun’s waist with his arms while Baekhyun did the same with his legs. “Shall we get started?” he whispered, peering down excitedly.

Kyungsoo just nodded, hooking his chin over Baekhyun’s shoulder so he could see where he was going as he hefted him towards the bedroom.

“I’m going to walk you into the fucking wall if you don’t stop that,” he grunted, trying to aim his way through the door.

Baekhyun giggled, detaching his lips from Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

Kyungsoo finally managed to navigate his way to the edge of the bed, flinging Baekhyun away from him. The older student squealed as he flew, landing on the duvet with a delicate huff. He grinned, shifting backwards and resting on the pillows as Kyungsoo crawled over him.

He craned his neck up to meet Kyungsoo’s kiss, wrapping arms around his neck to pull him back down. Kyungsoo brought up his knees, reaching between them to swiftly unbutton Baekhyun’s shirt. He flicked it open and ran his hands down the smooth skin beneath, drawing a soft moan, pressing down against Baekhyun arching into his touch. Baekhyun raised one leg and hooked it over Kyungsoo’s back, rolling his hips up. Kyungsoo grabbed him by the waist with one arm, using his other hand to push the shirt off Baekhyun’s shoulder. Baekhyun giggled, breaking away and sitting up to shrug the top off. He tossed it over the side of the bed and grinned into Kyungsoo’s face.

“Kyungsoo,” he whispered, nosing along Kyungsoo’s cheek, “Tell me where you like to be kissed.”

Kyungsoo smirked. “I’ll show you,” he returned, pressing their lips together again.

“Even better,” Baekhyun groaned when Kyungsoo moved his lips down to roam over his jaw.

Kyungsoo slowly traced a line down Baekhyun’s body, sucking at his throat, and clavicle, and breastbone. Baekhyun’s breath left him in soft pants, each exhalation bearing Kyungsoo’s name, letting out a small cry when Kyungsoo’s mouth closed over his nipple. Kyungsoo teased it with his tongue and Baekhyun whimpered, tangling his fingers in Kyungsoo’s hair.

Kyungsoo continued his journey down when Baekhyun’s grip started to hurt his scalp, kissing down each rib and mouthing over his stomach, slightly rounded from the meal. Baekhyun’s legs spread slightly and Kyungsoo paused to look up at him with raised eyebrows.

Baekhyun had the nerve to snort. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said, voice hoarse from panting, “I know you want to be in there.” He rubbed Kyungsoo’s face with his knee.

“Maybe a lot,” Kyungsoo admitted, and reached down to unzip Baekhyun’s fly.

Baekhyun let out a breathy chuckle, tipping his head back. Kyungsoo bent his head down, brushing his lips along Baekhyun’s length.

“The first texts were all about how you don’t wear underwear.”

Baekhyun let out a full-blown laugh. “Is that why you were staring at my junk and ass so viciously that week? I should’ve known.” He carded his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair again, holding his bangs back to see his face. Kyungsoo looked up at him, cheek pressed against Baekhyun’s dick. “That doesn’t help narrow down who the sender is, though. All of my friends know that.”

“Well, that’s annoying.” Kyungsoo pushed Baekhyun’s hand away, letting his bangs obscure his face again as he licked his lips and went down on Baekhyun like it was his life’s purpose.

Baekhyun let out a high-pitched moan, gripping the pillows behind his head and arching his back. Kyungsoo chuckled, pulling back slightly, tongue trailing after his lips.

“Your lips,” Baekhyun choked out, looking down through hooded eyes, “Were made for this.”

He caught a glimpse of dark eyes before Kyungsoo was going down again and Baekhyun felt his thighs tremble, his toes curl, keening dragging up his throat. Kyungsoo started getting rougher, sucking hard, scraping his nails down his thighs, shoving his tongue into his slit. Baekhyun almost wailed, quickly swallowing the noise before it could escape.

And then Kyungsoo pulled away, wiping his mouth and smiling serenely. “So, that’s where I like to be kissed. Your turn.”

Baekhyun’s mouth fell open and he flopped back, covering his eyes with his arm dramatically. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Kyungsoo crawled up and nipped at his jaw, pumping his cock lazily. “Well, I suppose I can continue that for you later.”

Baekhyun peered at him suspiciously from under his elbow. “Yeah, you better.” He sat up, sliding off the bed to kneel on the floor, pulling Kyungsoo’s legs around to settle on either side of his head. “I’ll do it backwards, then.” He kept his eyes lowered as he opened Kyungsoo’s pants, pulling them down his legs and tossing them aside with his shirt. He did the same with his underwear, smirking slightly when Kyungsoo reached down to touch himself.

“Impatient,” Baekhyun snickered, knocking his hand away.

“Hurry up then.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Baekhyun sniffed, hands resting lightly on Kyungsoo’s hips as he closed his eyes and mouthed against the base.

“You’re not into that?” Kyungsoo teased, leaning back on his arms.

Baekhyun chuckled. “Next time.”

“Sounds good.” Kyungsoo tipped his head back and Baekhyun got stuck into it for real.

Baekhyun was _good_. Kyungsoo’s lips parted and he groaned, losing himself to what Baekhyun was doing to him. He lifted his leg, slinging it over Baekhyun’s shoulder.

Baekhyun didn’t let up quickly like Kyungsoo had. He worked with a perfect balance of intense and teasing, and Kyungsoo felt sweat beading at his hairline. Baekhyun hummed against him, hand coming away from Kyungsoo’s hip to stroke at his own cock. Kyungsoo lost track of how long Baekhyun had been blowing him when he suddenly felt tight, moan catching in his throat, and he came straight into Baekhyun’s mouth without warning.

Baekhyun choked in shock, spitting some of it out onto his chin. His face twisted as he covered his mouth and swallowed the rest to avoid making a mess, glaring daggers up at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo laughed loudly, shifting back and resting his heels on the bedframe.

“You total _ass_!” Baekhyun shrieked, wiping the come off his face and smearing it on Kyungsoo’s thigh. “Are you for real?” He shoved him and Kyungsoo fell back onto the mattress, still laughing. Baekhyun jumped on top of him, taking revenge on his torso with his teeth and nails. Kyungsoo stretched his arms above his head, torn between moaning and giggling.

“Don’t worry,” he commented, voice strained when Baekhyun bit down hard on his clavicle. “I’ll get hard again to fuck you.”

“Mm-hmm.” Baekhyun nosed up to suck on his neck. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“You were late.”

Baekhyun scoffed and pulled away, propping himself up on his elbows. Kyungsoo looked up at him, smirking faintly, sliding his hands under the waistband of Baekhyun’s jeans and pushing them down over his ass. Baekhyun looked back and wiggled, kicking them off and letting them fall to the floor.

Kyungsoo heaved himself up, flipping them over so he was on top. Baekhyun wrapped one leg around his waist and stretched the other over his shoulder. “Come on, then.”

“And you call me impatient.”

“At what point did I ever claim to be patient?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and reached out for the lube he had left on the nightstand. He sat back a little to see what he was doing and Baekhyun closed his eyes, getting comfortable in Kyungsoo’s pillows.

Kyungsoo pushed his first finger in and Baekhyun let out something almost like a soft sigh. Kyungsoo fingered him cautiously, watching Baekhyun’s face, blinking when Baekhyun opened his eyes again and stared right back at him with his lips falling apart. Kyungsoo opened him slowly, sucking marks into his throat, committing every sound Baekhyun made to memory.

Baekhyun was smirking when he pulled his fingers out, and he reached up to push Kyungsoo’s hair back from his face. There was a challenge in his eyes as he pulled Kyungsoo closer with his legs.

Kyungsoo smirked right back, arranging Baekhyun’s body how he wanted it, one hand pushing Baekhyun’s right leg back and the other guiding his cock into his ass. Baekhyun let out a long, breathy moan, and Kyungsoo chuckled. Baekhyun shifted slightly, finding where he was comfortable; Kyungsoo waited, watching him intently.

“So,” Baekhyun said through shallow breaths.

“What?”

“ _So_ , go on then. Try to make me scream.”

 

*

 

The phone went off at stupid o’clock and Baekhyun groaned in irritation, rolling over groggily to pick it up.

“Hello?”

His greeting was met with a bloodcurdling shriek and he almost fell out of the bed, shocked into wakefulness as the caller hung up and a steady beeping met his ears.

Beside him, Kyungsoo shifted sleepily, peering up through his hair. “What are you doing?”

Baekhyun looked at the phone in his hand. “Sorry, I accidentally answered your phone.”

Kyungsoo sat bolt upright. “Who was it?”

Baekhyun handed it over. “I don't know. They screamed at me.”

 

_Last received call: Jongin_

 

“Ah.”

“What?”

Kyungsoo looked over. “Never mind.”

*

“I’m excited you’re taking me to meet your friends,” Baekhyun beamed, hanging off Kyungsoo’s shoulders annoyingly.

“It’s not like you’re my fiancé,” Kyungsoo grumbled, entirely unenthusiastic at the concept of confirming what Jongin had undoubtedly told everyone. “Besides this was your idea, not mine. Also you know like half of them already.”

“But this is different.”

“If you say so,” Kyungsoo muttered, shrugging Baekhyun off his shoulders and instead linking their fingers together.

Kyungsoo felt something was amiss the second he pushed open the door to the noodle bar. For starters, there were too many people at the table. Luhan pointed an accusing finger at the sight of them, scrambling to his feet on the bench.

“HANDS! JONGIN WAS RIGHT!” he shrieked, and Kyungsoo swore that one day, _one day_ , he would have friends that didn’t draw the gazes of an entire establishment’s patrons to them.

“Oh dear,” Baekhyun gasped insincerely, grinning broadly. Kyungsoo groaned. A group of Baekhyun’s friend glanced over at them, seated on the other side of the table from Luhan. Sehun’s sleepy-eyed friend who usually hung out with Yifan was there, and — yes, there was Yifan too. Jongin was holding a white cardboard box. Nothing about this was in any way good. Jongin opened the box with a flourish as they sat down amid cheers, revealing a set of cookies, lined up in rows, a letter iced on each one.

“Congratulion on the sex,” Kyungsoo read out blandly as Baekhyun — as well as everyone else at the table — howled with laughter.

“Hold on,” Jongin pouted, turning the box around, “That’s supposed to say ‘congratulations’.”

Everyone simultaneously turned to Tao, who stared back evenly. “Don’t blame me that Jongin can’t spell.”

Baekhyun wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. “Hey Kyungsoo,” he giggled, “Have you met my friends? Yifan looks scary but he’s actually a total baby, you know Chanyeol, Jongdae and Yixing from class, and the one who looks like a beetroot who wants to disappear is Joonmyun.”

“Nice to meet you,” Kyungsoo said, staring straight at Joonmyun.

“So how was it,” Luhan asked with intrigue, leaning his face on his hands.

“None of your business,” Kyungsoo growled at the same time Baekhyun chirped “Oh, pretty good, to be honest.”

There was a split second of silence before chaos erupted around the table. Jongin was practically squealing, Luhan and Jongdae were demanding details, Chanyeol was deafening the entire restaurant with his laughter, Yifan was clapping appreciatively and Joonmyun sprang off the bench to go help the server cart their food over. Yixing looked a little startled by the sudden noise, staring around at them with his shoulders hunched and his eyes wide. Kyungsoo glared daggers at Baekhyun, who tapped his chin meaningfully. “Revenge is mine.”

“You are literally the worst person.”

Sehun, who had been disinterestedly playing with his chopsticks, suddenly slammed his elbow down on the table and pointed the chopsticks at Baekhyun. “The title has been passed. Bear it well.”

Baekhyun blinked. “What?”

“The title of Worst Person.”

“Oh! Thank you, Sehun. I’ll be responsible with it.”

The meal did not go quite as badly as it could have, Kyungsoo grudgingly admitted. The others calmed down after a moment, distracted by food, and moved on to other topics of discussion. For example:

“So,” Luhan said suddenly, during a lull in the conversation. “The really important question is, who was the shitbag genius who was texting Kyungsoo this whole time?”

“Yeah!” Chanyeol agreed, nodding furiously. “And, Kyungsoo, what did they actually say? They didn’t legit send Baek’s dick pics, did they?”

Jongin’s head snapped up. “Soo! You told me there were no dick pics!”

“There weren’t!” Kyungsoo yelled before this could get out of hand. “Seriously though, who was it?”

he scrutinized each of the faces at the table in turn, each boy muttering a ‘nope’ or a ‘wasn’t _me_ ’ as his gaze fell on them.

“Well I suppose it will remain a mystery for now. Which leads me to my second point,” Luhan grabbed Tao’s shoulders. Tao let out a shriek. “ _Who is Sehun’s secret admirer?_ ” he howled, giving the junior a rough shake.

“What! Is! Wrong! With! You!” Tao howled back, grabbing Luhan’s arms to stop the shaking.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” Sehun deadpanned, wiping his lips with the napkin and laying his chopsticks over his bowl. Tao nodded, extracting himself from Luhan and standing up with him.

“Why won’t you tell me!?” Luhan wailed, trying to grab onto Tao’s sleeve. He and Sehun gave him identical withering stares before Sehun slung his arm into Tao’s elbow and turned away.

“IT’S TOTALLY TAO,” Luhan yelled after them.

“It’s _not me_ ,” Tao sighed back.

Luhan turned desperately to the table. “This is a conspiracy, right? You all know who it is except me!”

Yifan snorted and leaned across the table to pat Luhan’s shoulder before he stood up to go as well. “Lu, you’re adorable.”

Luhan let out a noise of indignation.

“For the record, I have no idea,” Baekhyun held up his hands in surrender.

Luhan’s head whipped around to Jongin.

“Hey man, why would I know?”

“Oh, um, I, assignment! Just remembered,” Chanyeol announced suddenly to nobody in particular, shooting out of his seat and hurrying away.

Luhan seethed after his retreating back. “He totally knows.”

Jongdae snorted, then snapped his fingers. “Oh, shit. I just remembered. Baek, do you have Chanyeol’s number? I lost it when I got this new phone.”

“Oh, sure.” Baekhyun pulled out his phone while Luhan thrashed angrily in his seat.

“Everything sucks! What’s happening to this group! Yixing, do you know who’s responsible for this shit?”

“I _never_ know what’s going on,” Yixing sighed sadly.

*

Chanyeol groaned in sleep and rubbed his eyes, wondering who the hell would be sending him messages at this hour on a Monday morning.

 

From: 010-5358-9385  
[Today][05:59]

hey man did u know sehun only wears lingerie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Bonus Epilogue:**

  
Baekhyun picked up his phone with that groggy fury that happens at 6am. “Chanyeol this had better be important do you have any idea what the fucking time is.”

“No, no this is very important,” Chanyeol agreed.

“What the _fuck_ is it, then?”

“What does lingerie mean?”

Baekhyun rolled over and went back to sleep.

 

 

 

 


End file.
